With the rapid development of the Internet technology, based on the interactive video-audio streaming-media studio control platform will become the trend. XMPP protocol meets the requirement of the instant message communication. However, in the case of message filtering and visible to someone while invisible to others are not work well. In the paper, extended the XMPP protocol, the instant message filtering mechanism has been designed and implemented in the artificial or automatic way. The basic elements of the privacy list, the rules of the privacy lists, and the mechanism of visible to the group administer while invisible to others in the group have been designed and implemented. The experimental results have proved the validity and the feasibility of the design.